Shapes in the mist

When I started The River, I thought I was fairly well ahead of the game. I had a pretty good sense of what I thought God wanted us to be, what God wanted me to be. After all, the genesis of The River goes back years, probably 6 or 7, back to the time when I first got this idea in my head that God might want me to start a new church. I felt pretty comfortable.

Then I got started and all of a sudden had all these questions. All these things I didn't know. Yes, I knew we were supposed to gather in clusters, but what do clusters actually do? How do I communicate all these ideas in my head without sounding like a rambling madman? After I got started, I discovered that all the images in my head were merely the framework of The River. I had to discover what The River actually looked like.

That process of discovering what The River will look like has been an amazing journey. God has given it to me in pieces. They emerge like shapes in the mist. First a little shadow, then an outline, then depth and color, and finally they come to life. I don't have the whole picture, and I don't think God gives anyone the whole picture. God gives us what we need, when we need it, and reveals the picture a little at a time. It emerges like shapes in the mist, but when it emerges, it is more amazing than we ever thought possible.

I'm not as comfortable as I used to be, and that's good because I rely on God more and do more looking and listening than thinking and planning. I do that because I am on this journey to build the community God sent me to build, not my own version of it. I am on this journey to serve my God who gives me all things. I am not angry or resentful that I only get shapes in the mist. Instead, I feel honored to be blessed with that much, and I thank God for allowing me to be a part of this amazing journey of starting The River.