Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The hard work of relationships

We share a closet at the school we rent. It's big, but it is still shared. The school did a large event for it's graduating seniors this week, and they saw a projection screen in the closet, thought it was theirs and set it up for us. It was actually The River's screen, but it was an understandable mistake for two reasons:

1. Their screen was supposed to be in the closet, but wasn't.
2. We did not label our screen.

Now, I figured this was going to happen at some point. If it hadn't happened over this, it would have happened over something else. And the typical way to prevent such problems such as this is to label stuff. You know, put a big stamp on it that says "MINE! HANDS OFF!" I thought about doing that, and decided against it. Why? Because if The River is really going to be about relationships with God and each other, then a warning sign is not the way to go. Warning signs do not help relationships- they prevent them by stopping conflict. And resolving conflict in a healthy way is a crucial part to any healthy relationship. It's not fun, and it's hard work, but it's necessary to have authentic relationships.

So I'm glad this happened. It was resolved in a healthy manner, and I think our relationship with the school is stronger as a result. It was hard work, but I think it showed them and us who we are going to be: The River is about relationships with God and each other. That's hard work, but it's very rewarding, and it's something sorely lacking in our culture today. We can (and often do) just cut and run from an unpleasant relationship. We're not going to do that. We're in it for the long haul, so we're going to do the hard work. Since this was a step in the right direction, I thank God that this happened.

I'm also glad it's over, and we're going to label our stuff this weekend. Having this conflict may have been healthy and good, but that doesn't mean I want to do it again soon!

1 Comments:

At 7:39 AM, May 25, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've probably read this post a dozen times. I can't agree more about the importance of working at relationships.

I even sent this to my ex-wife, not out of vindictiveness, but the hope that our children will learn from this. We failed them. Divorce stinks. I hope and pray they will not go through, or put their children through the same thing.

I wish our pastor would have pushed us into working through our issues rather than trying to make sure we both felt like he was on "our side".

 

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