Fog

I did not realize until after my surgery that I've been in a fog for about two months. Ever since I first went to the dermatologist and looked through that brochure and realized I probably had skin cancer, I've just been in a daze. I haven't been thinking clearly, haven't been thinking through things very well, and was just generally befuddled. It reminds me of when we had our first child and I learned what the words 'sleep deprivation' really mean.

I'm surprised by how dazed I was. It wasn't that big a deal. Yes, it was cancer, but if you're gonna get cancer, this is the one to get. The surgery wasn't fun, but I've seen a lot worse. The recovery stunk, but like everything else (the pain, the stitches, etc.) it could have been worse. Heck, I feel like calling myself a cancer survivor is an insult to actual cancer survivors! So why the fog?

No clue. Could be the brush with my own mortality, just the unknown, subliminal fear, who knows. I don't have the faintest idea. What I do know is that I'm awake now, and ready to get my brain back into my work. For somebody without a brain, I think I've been doing fairly well. I don't seem to have done anything colossally stupid, and those who've known me for awhile and have seen some of my stupider moments will probably breath a sigh of relief at that. I'm certainly relieved. Still, it is nice to have my brain back online.

Oh- and worship attendance has actually gone up so far in summer. So I get skin cancer, lose my brain, summer starts, and attendance goes up. That's the wild, whacky world of church planting for you!