That's what they all say

That's what someone told me after I had outlined the vision for The River. I had just finished sharing the vision of a community with deep spirituality, authentic relationships and that does significant service to others, and this person said "That's what they all say." It wasn't said in a mean or condescending way, just matter of fact, and it probably is a fact: most new churches probably do say something like that. After all, I doubt anyone has ever started a new church with the idea of recreating all the problems of the past. I'm sure most were started with at least some intent to do things differently, to find ways to remedy some of the things that didn't work in other places. I'm sure most churches have some element of that, and in that sense what we're trying to do isn't all that different. It's probably pretty common.

I expect all the other new churches that tried reform have succeeded in some ways and failed in others. I wish I could say that we're going to be different, that The River is going to get it all right. That we are the cure for what ails churches everywhere, that we know what's wrong and by-golly we're going to fix it and everything will be perfect. But that just will not happen.

We are going to make mistakes. We are going to do things wrong. We are going to recreate some of the problems of the past, and if we actually solve some of them we will undoubtedly create new ones. The River is not going to be perfect. It is not going to solve everything. It is going to be as flawed as any other church anywhere. Flawed in different ways, perhaps, but still flawed, because we're still human, and we're still going to screw things up.

That's something I need to remember, and it's something folks need to know going in. Anyone- including me- who expects this to be a perfect community is going to be disappointed. For that, we have to wait for the next life. In the meantime, I'm going to pursue this vision God has given us. I'm going to keep at it, and we're going to get as close as we can. We'll probably never get there, but I'm going to try, and I'm going to trust that even though we aren't perfect, God will still show up and do powerful things in peoples' lives.

It's not about being perfect, or getting it all exactly right. It's about serving God and trying our best and understanding that God is God and we are not. So I'll work on these things, but I'll do it without expecting perfection, and try to remember that it is not about whether I get it right or not. It's about serving God, and I thank God we don't have to perfect to do that, or we'd all be in a lot of trouble!

Shapes in the mist

When I started The River, I thought I was fairly well ahead of the game. I had a pretty good sense of what I thought God wanted us to be, what God wanted me to be. After all, the genesis of The River goes back years, probably 6 or 7, back to the time when I first got this idea in my head that God might want me to start a new church. I felt pretty comfortable.

Then I got started and all of a sudden had all these questions. All these things I didn't know. Yes, I knew we were supposed to gather in clusters, but what do clusters actually do? How do I communicate all these ideas in my head without sounding like a rambling madman? After I got started, I discovered that all the images in my head were merely the framework of The River. I had to discover what The River actually looked like.

That process of discovering what The River will look like has been an amazing journey. God has given it to me in pieces. They emerge like shapes in the mist. First a little shadow, then an outline, then depth and color, and finally they come to life. I don't have the whole picture, and I don't think God gives anyone the whole picture. God gives us what we need, when we need it, and reveals the picture a little at a time. It emerges like shapes in the mist, but when it emerges, it is more amazing than we ever thought possible.

I'm not as comfortable as I used to be, and that's good because I rely on God more and do more looking and listening than thinking and planning. I do that because I am on this journey to build the community God sent me to build, not my own version of it. I am on this journey to serve my God who gives me all things. I am not angry or resentful that I only get shapes in the mist. Instead, I feel honored to be blessed with that much, and I thank God for allowing me to be a part of this amazing journey of starting The River.